Ling, Nu-Wah. +6000 years

This is so unusual for me. I am used to expressing myself freely within the Community, but I am extremely self-conscious of being in public, even at such a remove as the written word in a blog.

Very well, then I am Ling, Nu-Wah. Sinologists seeing my name will probably point out its mythological connections. I cannot answer this. I am not a goddess or remote in history empress. I am merely Ling. I have, I will say, been around for at least six thousand years. And for all of that time I have enjoyed being the consort of many many people. I have changed genders numerous times. I have also resisted the periodic urge to reincarnate. Well I should. "China," my homeland is grossly overpopulated and terribly polluted environmentally. The rest fo the world is not far behind in such problems. I wish I had solutions besides the obvious ones. Stop breeding like rabbits. Create neccesary products without creating toxic wastes. Consume wisely.

But I am supposed to write about myself. What is there to tell? After this much time many things repeat themselves, variations in a large pattern. But I shall try then. I came upon the Outlands founder long before there was an Outlands. He sensed my reality but could not accept it. I had nowhere else I could go, so I thought. I stayed because he was an interesting man. He got very angry sometimes. Not at me. He was poisoned with anger. It made him sick, what you in the west would call sick in the heart. When Sara came along things changed. He fell in love with her. After that she told him, Ling is like me. She is not your imagination. We talked then for the first time in ten years. It was very nice, it made me cry. I never said anything about that part before.

I did not know that I had art skills. But I always liked color, I would hear sounds with colors. This is called synaesthesia. When Roy set up his art studio with hundreds of colored markers, I was always with him if he was working, I just watched. When he would make cover-art for his music tapes he let me make suggestions sometimes. When we were asked to develop the Imaginator cards, I was asked to join the ArtGroup. I was very surprised. But I contributed the design for one card myself and helped on many others. I felt useful for the first time ever.

It isn't that being a consort to a man or woman is not useful. But it can lack love. Sexual intimacy without love winds up being a way to pass the time and gets boring. You do it the way some people watch TV, I guess. I didn't know much about love. I learned that I was loved here. I was trusted and respected. That made me cry also, but everybody here knows that. I am proud of those tears. I am proud of them because I felt human again and that is a priceless gift.